Leadership - lessons learned

Today i failed in my first step as a leader. I didnt get 2 people who i care a lot for to buy into what i wanted to do. it hurt. especially since i did think that i could rely on them otherwise. that got me thinking - what is a leader? i remembered a definition of leadership - it is the ability to get someone to do what you want them to do while they think they are doing what they want but this is not my idea of leadership - i believe a leader is the person who you turn to when you need guidance - a thought leader. all others are merely facilitators. if that is the role of a leader, maybe i still am one. am feeling quite sleepy now but will return to take this thought forward